Why I almost Burned my Friend’s House Down While Filming a Kung Fu Movie

Posted on November 20, 2009
Why I almost Burned my Friend’s House Down While Filming a Kung Fu Movie

Background:

The Movie: Eleven years ago, as a freshman in high school, I undertook a project that would become known as “The Kung Fu Movie.” This project was never finished, no part of it was particularly coherent and what little of the movie remains today is more a yearbook of a few misspent summers than a film (read video) that anyone would want to spend seven minutes and twenty three seconds watching.

The Device: My Brother Brian had told me at one point that if I could encase a ball of steel wool in a cage of chicken wire, tie that encased ball to a rope, light that ball on fire and swing that ball around my head I could have something that looked pretty cool.

Materials:

  • Rope
  • Steel Wool
  • Chicken Wire
  • Fire
  • Fire Extinguisher

Moral: If you get steel wool hot enough that little bits of molten steel flame globules start dripping off it, it’s gonna be real hot.

The Story:

I spent about two months waiting to film this flaming ball of steel wool flying around my head, but there wasn’t any place for me to do it.  I was in the middle of Chicago.  I knew public places would be tough. There are always cops at the beach in the summer time and it is illegal to be in most Chicago parks after 10 (probably also illegal to have big flame balls of steel wool, but that is another matter.)

It developed that there was a girl who had a side yard (the size of a single lot) which was huge by city standards and, in my view, perfect for flaming experiments. She thought the scene might make more sense somewhere else, but I knew there was nobody else who I could sucker into letting me use their yard for Kung Fu pyrotechnics.  So my father and I, my father came to save me if need be, took a train to the north side with our steel wool, and fire extinguisher in tow.

Well, when we finally got there we were anxious to get the experiment under way when we found that steal wool does not catch fire easily.  We held it to the grill lighter and even put some paper in the cage, but it just didn’t seem to want to catch.  We were about to try putting kerosene on this ball of metal when the idea struck me that I might just start swinging this hot ball around my head and see what happened.

What happened?

Molten Steel.  A red-hot ball of molten steel whistled around my head.  It looked like a meteor with a tail of hot steel dripping off onto the ground. It was hot and heavy and beautiful and it was swinging around my head in Betsy Tangora’s yard.  I felt proud and powerful and, after a while, I felt concerned that this ball of fire had been flaming a long time.

In this yard there are 4 sides: a street, an alley, a great old wooden house, and a neighboring apartment building.  There were two things behind me: my father, and a tree.  When the fireball exploded out of the chicken wire it did not hit the wooden house, and it did not hit my father.  If it had broken even a fraction of a second earlier or later it could have hit either.  What it hit was the tree.

The tree was only a little on fire.

What the tree did to the steel wool (and we were probably lucky that it happened this way) was break it up in to a hundred pieces and spray those pieces all around the lot.  So now there is a slightly flaming tree and a lot of pieces of pretty flaming ground.  There was a lot of yelling about hoses and fire extinguishers but most of what we did was stomp on little flaming bits and hope that the tree would put out itself.  It did.

Dad and I got on the train to head home relieved.  We were on the other side of a big adrenaline rush and it made me kind of giddy to have escaped disaster.  It was in this mood that I turned to my father and said, “When we do this again we should…”

That was as far as that sentence ever got.

10 Responses to “Why I almost Burned my Friend’s House Down While Filming a Kung Fu Movie”

  1. Elias
    Nov 20, 2009
    Reply

    HA! “When we do this again we should…” lol

    If you ever want to try again, count me in


  2. Lori
    Nov 20, 2009
    Reply

    Casey,
    I would love for you to host my birthday party someday.
    I’ll bring the fire extinguishers!

    (Loved this story!!!)
    ~xo


    • Casey
      Nov 21, 2009

      @Lori I will bring the flame accelerators.

      @Elias we gotta get out in the country, maybe the salt flats in Utah.


  3. Betsy T.
    Nov 20, 2009
    Reply

    Dude! You almost (allegedly) burn my house down while I’m on the roof filming it, and you don’t even remember my last name? Then again, this is probably something I don’t need on my google rap sheet.


    • Casey
      Nov 21, 2009

      Betsy! I can’t believe I gave you David’s last name. Proof positive that it has been too long. Sorry! I would be happy to take your name out of this if you don’t want it in the post otherwise, I corrected it.


  4. Colleen
    Nov 21, 2009
    Reply

    Is this an Edgar & Ellen story? From the list of pranking needs to the extravagant plot-gone-wrong, it holds all the elements of mischief and mayhem. http://www.edgarandellen.com/cartoon.php?cartoon=blunderland


  5. Mags
    Nov 22, 2009
    Reply

    My sister’s best friend is a pretty experienced amateur flame thrower–we should get him in on this and light some fire in my backyard–or maybe in the farm down the road, we have to be careful with my mom’s impatiens.


    • Casey
      Nov 30, 2009

      Fire is super fun.


  6. Walter
    Dec 01, 2009
    Reply

    Perhaps you should find a bigger place and plan ahead. Boy, what you did was dangerous, good thing it hit the tree. :-)


    • Casey
      Dec 01, 2009

      What can I say Walter, I thought I had the perfect set up, but things did not go according to plan. Luckily that tree bailed me out (also we had a fire extinguisher that I was happy did not get used).



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North and Clark

By: Casey Brazeal